Jul 24, 2009

Dr. Daniel Reidenberg provides a fascinating look into what makes people happy.

Category: Psychotherapy

Posted by: Meggin

“Don’t worry, be happy” are lyrics repeated over and over again in Bobby McFerrin’s 1980’s hit song bearing the same title. No matter what the cause, it’s okay, just be happy. The song even goes on to say, “Cause when you’re worried, your face will frown and that will bring everybody down, so don’t worry, be happy. . . .” Where did he come up with this, and why is it that everyone seems to be talking about wanting to be happy? According to Carlin Flora (2009), “Last year 4,000 books were published on happiness, while a mere 50 books on the topic were released in 2000. The most popular class at Harvard University is about positive psychology, and at least 100 other universities offer similar courses.” At our own conference last fall, the most popular course offered was Bill O’Hanlon’s “The Science of Happiness.” Psychology Today also reports that, “According to some measures, as a nation we’ve grown sadder and more anxious during the same years that the happiness movement has flourished.” Why the disconnect? I constantly hear people and clients saying, “I just want to be happy.” When I ask them what is it that they really want, most often they just repeat themselves. They aren’t even sure what “being happy” is. Occasionally, I am lucky and will get either “I’m just not happy” or “I just want to be happier.” As you know, there has to be something more underneath this yearning we’re seeing toward the all-elusive idea of “being happy.” We all define happiness differently. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be happy just as much as anyone else. I may tell someone that I am really happy when I am caught up at work or have finished an article, and in fact that truly does make me very happy. For someone else, that may be the very last thing that makes them happy. So am I not trying to get there? Of course I am. Yet, once I’ve arrived, I cannot stay there. It would be impossible for me or for anyone to live in a constant state of happiness. Our bodies are not designed to live there with chemical changes (largely endorphins, but also neurotransmitters like serotonin, norepinephrine, etc.) floating around our system allowing us to feel good. You can no more remain in a constant state of “flight or fight” than you can remain in a state of happiness. This is what I contend we, as therapists, must understand in order to help our clients understand. We know that experiencing a full range of human emotions is healthy. As a matter of fact, that is part of the current debate about the (over) diagnosis of depression and whether depression is not in fact just a normal part of the human experience. We must help clients to understand what it is that is causing them to want to be happy. Although it almost sounds a bit psychodynamic, we have to help clients understand the motivation(s) they have toward happiness as well as the roadblocks that keep them from getting there. As individuals working as therapists, you need to have a personal understanding of this concept. If you do not, you may (consciously or unconsciously) be working with your clients on something that is unrealistic (like being happy all the time). Therefore, as you help your clients set more realistic goals, you must also do so. How many of you have or would include in a client’s treatment plan: Goal #1: to be happy? Or Goal #1: to be happier? If you did, you couldn’t rightly expect a third-party payer to reimburse you. Goals in treatment plans should be realistic, objective, and measurable. Ahh, I hear some of you readers saying “fine, how about Goal #1: to be happy three days out of the week, or Goal #1: to have a 50% improvement in feeling happy?!” My response is that your own internal desire for happiness is impacting this concept. We can’t completely separate ourselves from our work (we are our work); if you, too, are trying to justify your clients’ striving for being happy as a goal, then dig a little deeper—for you and for your client. References Flora, Carlin. (2009). The pursuit of happiness. Psychology Today, 42 (1).

Dr. Robert L. O'Block, Publisher

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